Beautiful and unsightly. Breathtaking and mortifying - something so unbelievable and paradoxical there appears to be no validity at first glance.

Richard Simmons is the pure definition of this conundrum - he violates the laws of gay physics. Sir Issac Newton would be flabbergasted had he been alive today to witness this man. Richard Simmons has no limit. Taking his derivative only returns the color purple. His concavity is always up, never down. There is no rhyme or reason to this mathematical anomaly - I believe you are just as incredulous as I am.